Merry X-Mas & A Happy X-Year

25 12 2009

Good morning! Yup, it’s that day again. Wake up and fill your sack full of eggnog and sausage. Rip some paper from a box or two and throw it in the trash but make sure it makes it to the recycling bin! It’s such a nice sunny day here. I really hope we won’t have a terrorist attack today…that would be kinda lame. I’m on full-tilt X-Mas Red & Green Alert! My sweet Gal just wandered out of the bedroom and sang me a Psychobilly song that she whipped up in her half asleep state. “I Don’t Want To Drink Alone”. She actually sang some of it to me right off the cuff. It’s like wakin’ up with Reverend Horton Heat on this, the most important Ancient Pagan Holiday that was hijacked by you other folks…you know who you are. What’s all this nonsense in the Bible about it being a sin to place an icon like a tree in your home at this or any time of the year? What Hooey! I dare you, read it and weep. I don’t care either way. Ahem, Amen and Amon Duul II!  Google my ass up!…Now I’d like to take this opportunity to reach out to all of the sad Republicans and offer them my condolences for this wacky Heath Care Reform dealio. I think it’s pretty damn cool that Health Insurance companies can legally operate in collusion (it’s on the books Baby!) when any other type of business would be sued so fast it would make your head swim. Then you’d really need a Doctor! It’s like Disney getting a special extended copyright license protecting their crap from becoming Public Domain and guess what? No one else gets that Government Sanctioned lolly-pop! I know, I know, it’s lame that Democrats came up with stupid stuff like Medicare and Social Security. Who would ever want or need anything like that? Not me. No way! I’m planning on being very healthy and super rich until forever comes a-knockin’…and that ain’t never gonna happen! I want the Government out of my life once and for all! Don’t fix the roads, no schools, pollution, LAWS?!??!?!!! Are you kidding me? I’m so fed up I could tea-bag myself…but,  Hey! Look what I found under the tinsel tannenbaum this morning!

Two of those…whatchamacallits

That’s right, Satan Claus brought me a high quality photograph of some nice old Gretsch Guitars! Happy Holidays to everyone who came to my humble shop for their gift buying needs.
My X-Year’s Resolution? Keep making fun of, and providing better service than those GuitWhore Center and Sam’s Ass wannabes across town…although, through the kindness of my heart, I sent some of my customers over there who were looking for Cardboard Pink Guitars with Unicorns painted on them.
See ya’ll next year!!!!

Love,
El Jefe

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