New Advertising Blitzkrieg

13 10 2010

Typical Guitar Enthusiasts

Howdy y’all!  I’ve been busy lately selling guitars and amps on the INTERNET and forgot to post something here in quite a spell.  I’ve been trying to figure out a reasonable ad campaign for my shop that makes real sense to the potential consumer/customer. …but first a bit of a rant.  I can sit at my shop and work on the occasional guitar set-up or repair when in wanders some genius who can’t wait to tell me about how they sold a 1959 Les Paul Standard for $11.00 way back when and boy are they dismayed now that they could probably buy the State Of Indiana for the current price.  The going rate?  Maybe in the realm of $175.000.00- $325,000.00…who knows and who cares?  The next step in the plan is that when they ask me how much the 1958 Gretsch is, they hit me with a resounding “Woahh Dude!”  “That’s Insane!!!” I’m at a loss when it comes to this type of “time well spent” and because I own the shop I need to just take a pause at what I’m doing and take my lumps with a smile.  It’s not that I’m at all bitter mind you, I love guitars, it’s more a case of disdain for those who should never own one.  I’ve thrown around and sold more instruments than I want to admit to, but I’m of a strong belief that you should have to take a test and have a License to have a child.  Same goes for Musical Instruments. They deserve respect and love.  Morons need not apply…if you know what I mean.  Another thing…why is it when one might go shopping for anything and NEVER expect the merchant to reduce the price except in Music Stores?  It’s amazing!  Do you ask for a different price when buying salt?  No you don’t, but you’ll ask me to reduce the price of those strings you so desperately need so your bratty kid can “try out” learning about music on the worst piece-of-shit-guitar that you just bought at the Pawn Shop up the street.  I can’t seem to figure it out…but most of the money I make is from people buying crap that doesn’t work, hurts their kid’s hand to play and then they have the nerve to ask me to fix it AND expect a discount.  I have my fair share of really great clients and friends who stop by to see what’s new at the shop…maybe they number in the 3% range that wanders in.  Buy a good instrument and it will last a lifetime.  If your stupid kid hates it and gets into drugs, Nascar or football, it will hold it’s value forever and you can sell it. Crap begets Crap.  Those Road-Apples don’t seem to fall too far from the tree. Where was I?  Where were you?  I guess I just got up on the wrong side of the floor.  I’m taking a poll to see what images might work to my advantage and draw some business through the shop.  Take a look and let’s see where this leads. 

Kim Jong-Q Public

Tomorrow’s Ollie Halsall?




6 responses

13 10 2010
Buzz Baby Jesus

I don’t really have anything to say. I’ve been huffing dayglo spray paint all day making my stage outfit for a Halloween show.
I think anyone who pays $325,000 for a ’59 Les Paul is a fool, unless they’re Jimmy Page, and then it’s cool ‘cos everyone he has is not in the hands of some boomer investment banker who can’t even play. It’s OK if you bought it for $1200 in 1982.

13 10 2010
Guitar Safari

Hey Buzz…
I guess I don’t have much to say either. I’ve been snorting Pacific Ocean Fog for a couple of hours and have no intention of stopping now….and another thing…who says that Boomer Bankers can’t rock?
1982? When was that? $1200.00? How much is that? Sorry for the lack of interesting commentary but I felt the need to put some more trite bullshit out there because I’m selling junk on the Internets and my blog attendance always goes up when
I whore myself out just a bit. Meg Whitman?

13 10 2010
Chester Prince

We’ll all have the last laugh when Brown is elected and Whitman is 120,000,000 out of pocket. How many vintage Les Pauls is that?

13 10 2010
Guitar Safari

120 Billion might be a bit of a push but I really hope she might blow her whole wad on trying to be anything close to who and what Mr. Jerry Brown might be. eBay ain’t California and someone like her isn’t quite so innocent or looking out for you and me. She could really give a shit about you or your job or your kids or your wife…big money looks out for big money under the auspices of little money. I say it’s Bullshit! BULLSHIT!!! Have a nice day!

28 10 2010

Jerry used to hang with Linda Rondstadt and the Stones. I can think of anything at all nice about Whitman… as for Entwisle’s solo on the real me it might just be the only bass solo you have to turn up to 11 every time. Since it’s halloween time we should all spin Boris the spider a few times. I say we get our kicks before the whole shit house goes up in flames.

29 10 2010
Guitar Safari

I agree!!! On the verge of 53 and this is quite possibly the most impossible morning of my life.
It’s time to fucking FROLIC in the Shit House! Turn it up!

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